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Absence Makes the Derby Heart Grow Stronger

May 19, 2010

On May 11th 2010, Sock Monkey got a boo boo. 😦

At skate practice, feeling really rather spectacular, I sprained my ankle. It was towards the end of practice while going in to do my last hockey stop, I changed direction at the last moment, and only one foot got the memo, the other freaked out and twisted. 😦

So, I’ve been on the sofa for a week now…. sulking. I miss skating. I miss skating a lot. I’m forcing myself to feel better, but it’s only half working. I am off crutches (partially because I’m more at risk with than without them). So as I hobble around the house, trying to work and keep up with things, I dream of skating.

I have two stories to tell about my predicament:

This first tale is about karma… or whatever you call things that come into your life to teach you a lesson. This story started a couple weeks ago at a T-ball game in Roosevelt, Texas. I was doing the whole supportive parent thing, sitting in the stands attempting to care and cheer on my son’s team, the Red Sox. I suppose my mood may have already been a little sour, but something else entirely made it a whole lot worse. To preface this terrible confession, I must state that in I’m sharing this only as a tool to help you not repeat my mistake. So, here it goes… There was this guy. Ok, this guy is probably 6ft2in, big build… like body builder, but not quite as big. He bleaches little streaks into his hair, and is probably in his early 40s. As I’m trying to watch my son’s game in progression, he drives up in his ENORMOUS hummer thats all jacked up and spiffied to the nth degree. The sound of it irritates me, the sight of it irritates me. He hobbles up to where I’m sitting (on his crutches) and plops himself down right in front of me. As he’s doing this, he’s breathing really loud, making sounds and grunts. He places his crutches (the long way) on the bleachers next to him, taking up at least 4 spots. Then he puts his injured leg out to the other side of him, all while huffing and puffing. I’m feeling a little uncomfortable now. This dude is taking up at least 8 people’s spots and polluting my ears with his manly sounds. Naturally, I stare at him with a smile, though inside I’m totally wishing he’d come with a bubble that contained his ‘manliness’. He’s spitting, wearing a bandanna, and just generally offending my personal space. I resent him. I am annoyed. FAST-FORWARD to last night. I’m sitting on the stands at my son’s T-ball game (next to the guy). I have my leg up on the bleachers next to me, taking up way too much space. I’m huffing and puffing because it is HARD WORK walking on one leg. I’m wearing a bandanna because I cant seem to stand long enough to flat iron my hair into submition. I’m that guy. I’M THAT GUY!!! One word…. KARMA! :o(

Next little story is another one of my lessons learned while on crutches… On Sunday, after a lovely little meal at Jimmy John’s I started off towards the exit. Thinking that I’d be a big girl and get the door and let my kids out while my husband refilled his drink, I pushed the exit door open with my back. The door proved to be one of those strong kind that close behind you with gusto. Well, that kinda translated into me being pushed and me trying to catch myself with flailing crutches. No matter what angle I tried, it was a lost cause. TIIIIMMMBBBEEEERRRR! Down I went. Not such a bad story, right? Well, I’m not done. As I fell, it just so happens there is a little girl standing directly in my path down. The look in her face was hilarious! She was looking at me like, what the heck? and oh no! mixed together. She cowered down as far as she could, and I fell right on her! It must have been a really funny sight, but for me bloody knees and all, I was just cursing my stupid ankle and my stupid crutches. Want to know the icing on the cake? Well, I was helped up by the little girl’s dad and my husband. The problem was… I was wearing a dress. And under said dress, a thong. (TMI, I know!) But had I not picked that to wear, my humiliation would not have been complete.

Lessons learned?

-Do not judge people, especially hurt people.

-Do not open doors for yourself while on crutches, ask for help.

-Do not wear dresses with things under them that you don’t mind sharing with the entire world!

I cannot wait to skate again. I’ve learned my lessons, so ankle… heal up quick!

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